When Your Parent Moves In by David Horgan & Shira Block

Author:David Horgan & Shira Block
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Adams Media, Inc.
Published: 2009-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

chapter 6

the big move

THE BIG MOVE IS JUST THAT—BIG. It’s emotionally and logistically big. Prepare yourself. There will be shuffling of longstanding roles—who is head of the household now? There are two households of stuff fitting into one house. In some cases, there will be two households of pets. Do you bring your dad’s favorite antique sofa into your contemporary house? How will you park a third car in the two-car driveway? In addition to the luggage, boxes, china, and books, don’t forget to pack the emotional baggage of your parent-child relationship (because, like it or not, that comes on the truck as well).

Nancy and the Reynolds family found out the hard way just how emotionally difficult the process of moving can be.

ONE FAMILY’S EXPERIENCE

Nancy and Molly

My husband’s mom, Molly, was getting older. She was in good health, but Rick was concerned about her and wanted me to consider moving her in with us. I thought it was a good idea, especially since Molly was feeling lonely after her husband’s death. I really didn’t think she’d go for it because she lived in her house for forty-five years. Surprisingly, Molly agreed to the move. The deciding factor was that her best friend and next-door neighbor announced she was moving to Arizona to be closer to her children. There really was nothing keeping Molly in her home anymore, and she wanted to be part of a family again. She was ready and excited about this next chapter in her life.

Once we were all on the same page, it was time to start packing Molly’s house for the move. I approached it just like I approach everything: I got down to business. My kids wanted to help, so I assigned each a room to pack and gave instructions to make sure every box was clearly labeled: Red label— bring to our house; green label—storage; black label—give away; blue label—throw away. My kids tried to tell me Grandma was getting upset during the packing, but moving is a lot of work. In addition, Molly collected so many things over the years—dishes, dolls, doilies, magazines, crystal swans—that I wanted to weed through and streamline the process. I couldn’t have all that stuff in my house, could I? So, I spent two weeks sorting, boxing, labeling, throwing away, and giving away.

I thought I was doing the right thing by efficiently handling my mother-in-law’s move. According to my husband and kids, I made every possible mistake.

Looking back, I can see I made some pretty big ones. I shouldn’t have banished Molly from the process. I was just trying to make it easier for her, but that was wrong. I ended up making unilateral decisions about which of her things were important and which weren’t. I should have asked her because I got it wrong a lot of the time. I think I might even have put a damper on her excitement to live with us.

It all came to a head the morning after the move when she wanted a cup of coffee.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.